


Movember

by Bill_Longbow



Series: Happy Steve bingo [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers Family, But Shows It Unconventionally, Domestic Fluff, Getting Together, M/M, Natasha Romanov Is a Good Bro, Not Canon Compliant, Pining, Souped up Idiots, movember
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-17
Updated: 2018-11-17
Packaged: 2019-08-24 20:53:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16647584
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bill_Longbow/pseuds/Bill_Longbow
Summary: Natasha's only trying to be helpful!





	Movember

**Author's Note:**

> My second fill for the happy Steve bingo, for the square 'insecurity'. 
> 
> Thank you to [ Athletiger](https://archiveofourown.org/users/athletiger/pseuds/athletiger) for betaing!

Steve hid deeper behind the newspaper when he heard the telltale morning zombie shuffle of the resident genius coming closer. Tony made a beeline for the coffee machine and paid Steve no mind. Sometimes Tony would go with a mug full straight to the workshop and Steve prayed fervently this was the case today.   
  
Alas, Tony struck up a conversation after a few sips, something about recruits and SHIELD and, Steve had really no idea because he was too busy chanting 'go away, go away' in his head to pay attention to what Tony was saying.    
  
He cautiously peeked over the newspaper when Tony was silent for a bit, only to be sprayed with coffee. Tony had apparently leaned forward on the table to get Steve's attention.    
  
"What the hell is that?" Tony exclaimed while pointing at Steve's face. "Cap. Steve. Steven. You have a  _ thing _ on your upper lip. Why?" He asked plaintive stretching a finger towards the offending .    
  
Wiping the coffee off his face Steve heard Bucky enter the kitchen behind him making Tony slump onto the counter exclaiming "not you too" against the concrete surface.   
  
Tony whipped his head up, fixing a glare at Nat who sat eating a bowl of yoghurt on the counter next to him. "You. You set them up, didn't you?"    
  
Nat only shrugged and pulled up one eyebrow, which meant she was thoroughly amused. "They know what to do to get rid of them. Call it a Stache of Shame." She looked meaningful at Steve who chose to hide behind his newspaper again.    
  
"I kinda like it," Bucky piped up, flopping down next to Steve. "I think it suits me."    
  
Steve knew this tone of voice, knew it intimately, and he knew it meant Bucky was up to No Good.    
  
The statement rendered Tony mute. When Steve peeked over his newspaper he saw the genius looking at Bucky with his mouth open and his cup halfway to his mouth. Steve knew a bit about how Tony's brain worked, knew he was coming up and rejecting hypotheses at lightning speed, none able to fit with willingly wearing a porn ‘stache.    
  
Shaking his head Tony turned to leave, muttering, "I don't even wanna know."   
  
  
  
  


" _ This _ is not helping, Nat!" Steve waved an agitated hand at his face. He knew his teammate meant well. Rather, he wanted to believe she did, but threatening people with bodily harm and making them look like a fool as a way of helping them must be a Russian thing. It was only that Steve was at wit’s end that he agreed to this ridiculous scheme. That, and he really valued his kidneys and didn’t doubt for a second Natasha knew exactly where to stab him so that not even the serum could save him. “Tony doesn’t even want to look at us like this,” he lamented when Natasha didn’t look up from where she was painting his toenails in the American flag. Sometimes he really hated her.

“Quit y’r whining, punk,” Bucky spoke next to Steve’s head, reclining on the couch’s backrest. He had developed the annoying habit to stroke his moustache after he spoke. It drove Steve up the wall, but he tried to keep it in, cause he was 98 percent sure this was exactly why Bucky did it. “Didn't hear you complainin’ yesterday,” he added.

Steve blushed as red as the nail polish Nat was currently wielding. The moustache had some unforeseen benefits, and Bucky was determined to explore each and every one of those in great detail. “Buck, c'mon, we'd agreed to keep bedroom things to ourselves,” Steve muttered, his voice pitched low in the idle hope Natasha wouldn't hear.

“Who do you think gave him the idea?” Nat asked pleasantly, not looking up from her task of giving his little toenail 15 perfect little stars.  

Steve merely sighed to himself and shook his head. He should’ve known better than to bait her. “We need a plan. Growing annoying facial hair does not equal a plan.” Steve wasn’t called the Man with a Plan for nothing. He liked plans. They gave a direction you could deviate from.

“Didn’t hear you callin’ it annoyin’ yesterday,” Bucky smirked, and rolled off the couch in time to avoid the pillow Steve wanted to push in his face, laughing out loud on the floor. “Y’er too predictable, Stevie. Ya need to think creative like.” He came up above the couch’s edge again, leaning on his arms. “When Nat there is done dollin’ you up we’ll strategize.”

Steve gave in to the temptation to kiss Bucky, despite him being the number one reason for Steve’s high blood pressure. Or number two. Tony trying to sacrifice himself for the team was worse. His poor serum had to work doubly hard to keep his heart in pristine condition with these two knuckleheads.

“Okay,” Steve conceded. “And maybe you’ll do a bit of that yesterday thing again too?”

 

 

“There he is, act natural,” Bucky hissed, doing anything but by leaning nonchalantly against the kitchen counter and grinning like a loon. 

Steve elbowed him in the ribs before Tony came through the doors, shooting Bucky his best ‘aw shucks’ face when he angrily looked up at Steve from where he was bent over double. Punching his best friend slash lover  _ was _ acting natural, he was only following Bucky’s lead.

Because of this they missed Tony walking into the kitchen and opening the fridge. 

They had devised some sort of plan, but had skipped hashing out the finer details in favour of some less PG activities, so they never got round to  _ who _ would start. As Tony looked for an afternoon snack Steve opened his mouth, but Bucky slapped his hand in front of Steve’s face. Steve pulled at it ineffectually, but retaliated by tickling Bucky in the side. The resulting snort was enough for Bucky to release his hold on Steve’s face, but he quickly recovered by putting Steve in a headlock, playing dirty by using his metal arm. Steve was trying to break free when Tony turned around and blinked at them in surprise.

They both smiled their sweetest smile, but Steve had to step on Bucky’s toe to remind him to let go of Steve’s head.

Steve sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck, and Bucky did this dorky little wave, before they looked at each other and nodded.

“Okay, that’s seriously creepy. The whole conversing with your eyebrows thing already was disconcerting, but now with the…those…” Tony waved at their faces, unable to bring himself to even say the word ‘moustache.’ “...is really next level psycho you’ve got going.”

“Tony, hi,” Steve said lamely, earning him a shoulder shove from Bucky. “We, er, would like to, that is, if  _ you _ want of course--”

“Wanna go out with us, doll?” Bucky interjected smoothly, picking up his water bottle and downing it while keeping eye contact with Tony. The genius followed Bucky’s movements with his eyes, unconsciously licking his lips, and Steve knew how he felt. Full on flirting Bucky was a force of nature, even with the ridiculous moustache.

Tony blinked at them.

And blinked again.

Steve knew what this was, colonel Rhodes had explained that Tony could get stuck sometimes, coming up with and rejecting countless of hypotheses until he found one that fit. Apparently them asking him out was not something his brain could compute.

“Please, Tony go out with us!” Steve stepped forward and touched his moustache. “I hate this thing! It needs to go, it’s itchy, it’s ugly, people laugh at me behind my back, and you haven’t looked at us properly ever since Nat made us wear the wretched things, please go out with us, please?”

Bucky rolled his eyes at Steve, but turned to look hopeful at Tony. “We’ve made a plan of where to take you an’everythin’,” he added, wringing his hands, a gesture so un-Bucky like Steve had to reach out to take one of Bucky’s in his.

“Wha?” Tony’s eyes darted between their faces, down to their linked hands and up to their faces again.

“We wanna wine and dine ya,” Steve tried to clarify, taking a step forward and pulling Bucky with him. “And we’ve been wanting to for a while now, you…when we’re with you we feel more complete?” He looked at Bucky for support.

Bucky nodded. “It’s true, we don’t wanna pressure ya, but, maybe, give it a thought?”

For a few moments nothing happened, and Steve felt his shoulders sag, noticed Bucky’s smile falter, but then Tony burst out laughing.

“Oh my god! Honestly? It was Nat’s doing, was it? Sure I’ll go out with you if it means you get to get rid of those horrid things,” Tony chuckled, but his heart obviously wasn’t in it, the way he didn’t quite meet their eyes.

Steve was the first to step forward, and, projecting his movements, he softly cupped Tony’s face, who didn’t resist but kept looking up at him with those large chocolate eyes.

“No, Tony, we’ve been talking about this for almost a year. This has nothing to do with the moustaches.” Steve looked Tony deep in the eye, willing him to understand they were serious. Ever so slowly he bent forward to press a soft kiss to the corner of Tony’s mouth. Bucky was next, kissing Tony square on the lips. Show off.

“Please, sweet thing? Just a date…”

Tony’s hand came up to touch his lips, and he reached out as if to touch Bucky’s as well, but let it drop to his side.

“Sure, just a date,” Tony shrugged. “Gotta warn you though, you don’t know what you’re getting yourselves int--”

“No bad mouthing our date, Tony, that’s rule number one,” Steve said as he slung an arm around Tony’s shoulder and Bucky came up on Tony’s other side.

“Rule number two is only awesome facial hair is allowed in this threesome,” Tony grinned a bit shyly.

“Ha, said so, punk,” Bucky exclaimed triumphantly. “I’m keeping mine!”

Tony gave Bucky a disgusted look that promised he was gonna shave the thing off himself off he had to, and Steve had to agree, except for that thing that Bucky did where he--

Steve bent down to whisper this in his ear, making Tony go wide eyed and pink cheeked. 

“Okay, we're doing that and  _ then _ the things come off.”  

  
  
  


(They actually did it four times in different configurations and sent a gift basket to Nat.)

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Come say hi on [Tumblr](http://bill-longbow.tumblr.com) or join us on the 16+ [ Stuckony discord server ](https://discord.gg/jtXcc3n) for all things Tony, Bucky and Steve!


End file.
